I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
