Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize