I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
