hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize