so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
