She is in my trunk
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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