never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
