those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
