She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
