Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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