She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize