I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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