You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize