I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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