You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
