Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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