I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
