i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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