Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
