Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
