in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
