you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
