My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
