check it out our google latitudes are spooning
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I am naked and annoyed.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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