you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
