She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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