you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
