Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
