we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
