Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize