Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
