i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
