WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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