Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
