i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We had to coat check the pizza.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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