it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize