I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
