It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
