billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
