she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
