I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
