I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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