I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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