Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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