Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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