Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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