Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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