I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
