No, you can still breathe under the balls.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
