You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
