I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
