Yo dont text me then not text me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
