At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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