Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
