so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
