Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
