No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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