I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
